day four

i have decided to pack up and move to melbourne; have had it with sydney; apart from being far too expensive; it is boring; known; and superfical' sick of beach wankers pumping iron at the beach wearing slug huggers with spank screen printed on the arse; really ain't my cup of tea;

it seems kwang soo will return to korea; he has applied for a few jobs; but as its coming up to xmas it will be difficult finding a job before he is forced to exit australia; he is taking it well; partying hard;having a good time; went to the newtown hotel with him, max and anthony last wednesday nite; magazine launch; wildboys (feral drag queens); was a fuking great nite! planned an hour; was the last to leave

day three

am pissed off; phone call; kwang soo; his work have cancelled his visa; fuckers; what absolute twats!; the whole thing has been a debarkel; i guess it goes with the territoy; what fucks me off even more is their pseudo concern; like fuck they are concerned; dolls; i feel for kwang soo; it has been hard for him here; even though we are not together; he is still a dear friend; i only wish him well; and wished that some cunt would give him a break; kwang soo turned up on australian soil on a tourist visa back in may 2004; billing everything to his credit card; quite similar to me!(lol); i remember rocking up to korea will ten dollars to my name that i happen to borrow from luella at the airport; alas my situation was much, much different; he left his house in korea one morning; not telling his family; met his friend, song jin; who accompanied him to the airport; then he flew to sydney; bad boy; he loved it here; he had to go back to korea; tourist visa expired; applied and received a working holiday visa; returned to australia; october 2004; very hard time finding work; finally a break; got a job boiling rice in a factory for ten dollars and hour; cash in hand; fuck!; he's legal; still he's asian; so illegal manual bullshit is all he could get at the time; they even made him work boxing day; australia day; and many other public holidays; same pay; he finally got to give 'em the flick three months later; scored a better job at angels dreaming; a wedding/events company; making hand made invitations; fuck i can't believe they cancelled his visa!; indian givers!; he worked on his working holiday visa for three months with angels dreamin; told them of his work restrictions; they re-employed him under another of their company names; told him they wanted to sponsor him so he could work for them; that was back last december; on various occasions; i emailed his boss with links to australian immigration website; downloaded information booklets, application forms and other related material; gave it all to kwang soo; he gave it to them; nothing happened for four months; march 2005 i emailed his work again; nothing happened; kwang soo and i broke up in april; april-july our relationship was volatile; HE'S AT THE DOOR; HAVE TO GO

kwang soo and i; sca; rozelle; sydney; the very first day he arrived; may 2004

auch; he is taking it well; god love him; he came over; we went to campsie; he bought a taste of korea; cooked me dinner; talked; rented a movie; went over to nathans; watched it; at kwang soo's house; i called his boss; wanted to set up a meeting; hopefully negotiate something; she (ruba, his boss); declined; saying she had done everything she could; i advised her that she obviously hadn't read ANY of the documents before agreeing to, and sponsoring kwang soo; the problem is; a requirement of the employer who is sponsoring shall pay the employee a minimum of AUD$39,300; they are not willing to do that; hence, canceling his visa; mind you; they haven't paid a cent into his pension plan; advised them that if they paid his pension that that would bring the sponsorship into adherence; she won't have a bar of it; fucking dog; so what ever happens i'm gunna make sure he gets his superannuation when he finally has to leave; i am so upset; i mean; fuck; it is a blow; it's fucking with peoples lives; i don't think his mole of a boss understands that! who knows what tomorrow brings....; i hope all of kwang soo's dreams come true; and wish him all the very, very best

update; seems his boss told him this morning that i was rude; hmmm; funny; i never raised my voice; didn't swear; advised her that i am not speaking with her to upset her; only that i'm trying to negotiate away; don't think she liked me telling her that there was no excuse for her ignorance with relation to the sponsorship application as ALL the information was provided to her on three occasions and that if she chose not to read the terms and conditions; then that is HER fault; and that she should reimburse kwang soo the three thousand dollars that HE spent on sponsoring him; as with the majority of work sponsors the company pays not the employee!!!!!! i'm so gunna GET them!!!!!; fucking cunts!

day two and a half

me; pigsy; halloween






















heather; mystic; halloween

























kwang soo; from underworld; halloween






















nathan; slave boy; halloween























another gate crasher; halloween


received invite at work from hotel chain we use a lot; emailed rsvp for us all; pretended mates were co workers; was heaps fun; we won best dressed; we were only ones dressed up; drank heaps; forgot to eat; last to leave; sang "if i was a rich man" up oxford st; had a drink at the columbian; sux; tried tp pick up some jew boys on the street looking for something to do; ended up at barons; heather snog a fag; dunno what happeded to me and the rest of us; oh i remember grbbing braveherts cock on the stairs of a dodgy club in kings cross; naughty!

day two

inside deep throat; poster

am off to see inside deep throat tonight in paddington; premiere; freebie; am loving this free cinema tix thingy; have managed quite a few free tickets between us; the magician; murder ball; brides; mysterious skin; and now inside deep throat; yippee
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linda lovelace; a scene from deep throat

last monday night ainslie managed to get a copy of the original deep throat; from a shop in bondi; went over to nathans; with luellas data projector; my laptop; and we watched porn; was hilarious; not sure what all the drama is about regarding deep throat; erh der! cock action; the coke bit was rather funny/horrid; cum scene edits were trippy; rockets; fireworks; gob full of cock; switching back and forth; was expecting more of a john waters influence
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before the screening of deep throat at nathans; kwang soo came over for dinner; curry; was ok; was kinda jealous when i arrived at nathans as ainslie was there making curry; better than mine; not to worry
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am dead excited; off to see tex; don; and charlie; metro theatre; friday; have also managed tix for antony & the johnsons; www.sydneyfestival.com; not till jan 06; getting in early; don't wanna miss; am at work now; doing nothing; can't be bothered; very hot; am leaving early; drink a beer with ains on the flight deck

day one

a photo of myself on the toilet; dressed; the afternoon of mardi gras; before the parade; march 2005.

and what a disappointment mardi gras has become; well has always been; it was kwang soo's first time; i remember my first time; it was actually a hoot; i remember rolling around the dank carpet of the beauchamp hotel on oxford st; chewing chuppa chups; sipping warm water straight from the tap in the gents; the cold water was turned off; a time when water was the same price as gin; before they made a law; just after anna wood died; before they closed down the phoenician club; i was rolling around the floor; in the arms of panayiota; in the middle of a thousand knees; no one bothering us; being nothing more than big blobs of e matter; at a time when e verything matt er ed; e verything was a sign; an om e n; young; inspired; spirited; and looking for trouble; valleys turned to lights; where everything was possible; where curtains became sarongs; where queer became bent; then straight; then twisted; where bumping into the guy that worked in the bakery that wore the red eyeliner made my day; where jewish locks blew in the summer breeze; the tassels of prayer shawls induced desire; what ever happened to the guy from the bakery?; he wasn't jewish; but hey fuck; neither am i


a photo of kwang soo kim on the toilet; dressed; the afternoon of mardi gras; before the parade; march 2005

amazing fashion designer; my ex; was a cunt during break up; but love him again now; friends; korean; met there; i came back to australia; he stayed there; was horrid leaving; he came over on a holiday; loved it; wanted to stay; he went back to korea; 3 months; got a working holiday visa; worked a year; is now on a sponsorship visa; first job in oz was boiling kilos of rice in a factory; now works as a 'designer' for a wedding company; hates it; they are stupid; want him to buy a sewing machine; everyone comments on his website; his designs; and tells him "you're amazing"; i want him to get a sewing machine; we went shopping for them; he got excited; he will save; he got caught up in the gay scene for a while; was good for him; experience is good; he's been loving it; hating it; needing it; dreaming it; most of all enjoying the challenge


a photo of gwenda stoppe (nee bender); dressed; the afternoon of mardi gras; before the parade; march 2005

i met gwenda in a training group at the gas company; what a cunt of a place; fuck i have had some naff jobs; i remember the induction day; sitting around with 12 others; in front of computers; in the training room; being taught the ancient archaic mneumnic system; oh what plebs; what monkeys; welcome to agl you're speaking with ashlee may i being with your customer number?; since my resignation back in november 2004; i scored a job with NCHF; very cushy; gwenda on the other hand managed to stay with the gas company until its closure in june 05; juggling a menagerie of positions; north sydney council; university of nsw; and now on the job hunt again; fingers crossed for dear gwenda and her pursuit for a prosperous career since giving up school teaching